At a destination wedding on Thailand’s Andaman coast, the moment I would give the most thought to might last less than a minute. A grandmother rises to offer a blessing in the language her grandchild grew up hearing at home. Across the aisle, the other family listens, perhaps hearing those words for the first time. Then the officiant shares a brief translation, and everyone understands what she has wished for the couple.
As a destination wedding planner and designer, I think about that moment long before we discuss flowers or seating. I ask each partner, separately at first, which family traditions they would miss if they were absent. I also ask whether there is anything they feel expected to include. The couple decides together what belongs in their ceremony, with guidance from the people who know the traditions well. An elder or faith leader can explain who may lead a ritual, whether it can be adapted and what should be kept private. Those conversations give the couple room to make choices they can stand behind.
Once the choices are made, I read the ceremony aloud with the officiant. The order can change how a ritual is understood. A blessing before the vows can place the couple’s promises in the company of those who raised them. A song just after the vows can give everyone a moment to sit with what they’ve heard. I’d ask the officiant to explain each unfamiliar ritual in a sentence just before it happens, and use a bilingual programme where it helps guests follow along.
Both families deserve a role that feels right to them. One might offer the blessing while the other chooses the person who will introduce a family song and tell guests why it matters. Some relatives are happiest contributing in private, perhaps helping the couple dress or lending a piece of heirloom jewellery. In Thailand, I’d also consult the local planning team about the setting and any customs the couple wishes to include. If a Thai tradition has personal meaning for them, its place in the ceremony should be shaped with someone who understands and can guide its practice.
The work of making everyone feel part of the ceremony often comes down to details I’d check at the rehearsal. Can the grandmother reach her seat easily? Can guests in the last row hear her over the wind? Has the officiant practised the family names with the people who say them every day? And when a blessing ends, have we left enough time for a pause before the music begins? This is where I see luxury most clearly. A well-designed ceremony gives each person the time, space and care they need to take part. Years later, guests may still remember the Andaman Sea that afternoon. What I’d hope they remember most is how it felt to hear a family’s blessing, understand the wish behind it and, for a moment, make that wish their own.
With Love,
Veronica Rodie-Fazio
Founder & Publisher, The Wedding Planner & Lifestyle Magazine
Founder, Event Planner & Designer, Veronica Events Inc.
Certified Travel Advisor • Perfumer, House of Acinorev
